Sometimes, people on the internets have neat, well-thought out posts and lives. I am not one of those sometimes. I am the sometimes that writes a new year's post a few days into February, because that's when I got around to it. It's been on my mind though, ever since my week at the beach. Coming back to work kind of messed it all up - made me think harder in some ways, and then distracted me from thinking about it at all. Real life is COMPLICATED. Not to mention we had Sydney Festival, I tried a new yoga studio down in Clovelly, went out for about a hundred glasses of wine and took three weeks to properly unpack.
I had written off the past year as an in-between one. It felt slow in some ways, but upon reflection, and with some help from Ashley, the word I came to was 'expansive'. My year was expansive. By which I mean I made small changes that I think will resonate for a long while yet. Wheels in motion and all that. Last year I learnt to be a yoga teacher. I wrote and published some stuff. I got lost. I grew a lot (with some help from Clare). I met people, and put myself out into the world in a way I hadn't felt confident to in a while. And I feel better for all of it.
And so, 2015. I don't think I'll list off all the things I have hopes for (though believe me, I have lists - I love lists). For the most part, I think I'd just like to trust myself a little more. Have some faith in who I am and what I have to offer, you know? Doubts are natural - I'm a critical thinker and a worrier by nature - but I don't want doubts to rule my head. I'd like to be more at ease with it all and to do that, I'm going with trust. Trusting that I'll be OK, that things will be OK. Trusting that it might all just it be amazing.
* The picture is all double-chin-and-up-my-nose-on-a-crowded-train charm that I love anyway, because I remember that my friend Ben's beautiful song had just come on my iPod and I was by myself and feeling really happy.