Today was my one day off in two weeks, my one day to myself and because I knew the next month would be exhausting and overwhelming, I did some of the things that calm me and make me happy - namely sleeping in, baking, cleaning and buying flowers. As a feminist and, you know, totally amazing and interesting person, it's taken me some years to be OK with these pastimes. To not feel boring and predictable. But the thing about feminism is: CHOICES! And today, these were my choices. The sleep in was a necessity, my body needed a rest and I didn't stir for a cup of tea till almost 9 which was bliss. And of course baking. It makes me happy to build whole delicious things out of flour and sugar and a few hours to myself (and oh but the pumpkin, ginger and cinnamon donuts I made were pretty special - more on those delights later). I suppose the cleaning is just a way of calming me. I feel ready for the week if my washing is done and the cupboards are clean and there's no dust. I have one less thing to worry about.
The flowers were a last-minute purchase from Harris Farm, because I just couldn't pass them up. I was that middle-class white girl paying for sourdough and fresh flowers, all cliche and content. It was no Mrs Dalloway moment, but I was pleased with it (see above).
* The postcard on the mirror is one from my sister, from years ago - we have been sending each other postcards every few months for the past ten years. Blank but for a single quote, sometimes a song, a poem, a book, a film, something a friend said. This Anais Nin is probably my most treasured, the one that resonates and lifts me every day: 'I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing'.